I think I have a serious case put together for coffee being considered a human right. Did you know that restaurant can’t actually deny someone a cup of water, by law? That’s because humans need water to survive and it’s considered a plentiful enough resource to be able to give away for free. And then there’s the human right to freedom; like how you can’t just stick someone in a cage and have everyone be cool with it.
Well, some people NEED coffee. People like me; I need it. It gets me up in the morning, it helps me to do work, and if I don’t have it then things go downhill really fast, in an observable fashion. Seriously. We were in the conveyancers office this morning and I was flagging hard. And when you spend weeks finding a really impressive conveyancing office near Elwood to deal with your home selling process, then you don’t want to be nodding off in the meetings. This was only an initial consultation, but our espresso machine had broken down this evening and we were running late, so no time for caffeine. And when we got to the office, we were only offered tea. Tea is not sufficient to wake me up.
So I missed basically all of the important conveyancing stuff, because I was half dozing off and half thinking about coffee. The resulting chain reaction could be a total catastrophe. I doze off in the meeting, and I mess up all the selling of the house. Things don’t go as planned, and perhaps the resulting stress causes me to underperform at work and I lose my job. We lose the house, our whole family is out on the street, and all because of one missed coffee one morning.
If it can cause you to lose THAT MUCH, then surely it counts as a human right. Also, it should be available everywhere. Maybe I’ll ask around to see if I can find the best conveyancing office Collingwood residents use to get a good deal. Hopefully they offer both tea and coffee. I mean, they all should, just saying…