Hands Off the Classics!

Hollywood must be stopped, lest they reboot all of the good stuff. I’ve watched with rapidly-mounting horror as they’ve wiped their sticky, money-grubbing fingers all over the movies I loved when I was a kid, and I feel like I have to do something. It’s like watching a train crash, seriously.

I already stood by and did nothing as they rebooted Boast-Blusters, and everyone hated that one. Truth be told, it wasn’t the worst, in my opinion…just totally unnecessary. Now there are talks about them rebooting Labyrinth, the 1980s classic about a kindly wizard who lives in a maze and is trying to stop a bratty teenage girl from stealing his baby. I won’t let this one be real. Don’t think I won’t start a petition!

It was that movie that inspired me to create a hedge maze around my home. I cycled my way through every property advocate, probably exasperating them with my requests to have a home that was relatively affordable but also situated directly in the middle of the property. The property had to be pretty large, obviously, and fertile enough for me to plant a hedge maze all around. I just loved the movie so much, I wanted to replicate the experience with people who were trying to get to my house.

True, I received…well, absolutely no post in the coming days, because the postman didn’t have time to forge through the maze to get to the box. I had to move it outside in the end, but I like to think it otherwise weeded out all those who were unworthy to knock on my front door. Mwah-ha-ha!

Had to be very hospitable when people made it to the house, though, just like the kindly wizard played by the 80s pop star.

So yeah, that was the story of me and my positive experiences with the best buyers advocates Melbourne has ever seen. Those who were very patient with me on my search for the best home in Melbourne. And now, from within my maze, I shall create the greatest petition man has ever known.

-Miles