Our Church is Upgrading to Barista-Quality

As we all know, church coffee is best coffee. Something about that watery taste and lack of real flavour…mmm, perfect. The tea is even better, and works on the same principles.

So it’s going to be quite the transition period, after seventy years of having exactly the same kitchen, when we get our renovations. Everyone is looking forward to it, but I don’t know if some people have really considered the full implications. We’re getting a real coffee machine, and the old tea jugs are being thrown out to make way for modern urns. The watery church beverage is going away forever. We’ll have to host a special service of remembrance for all those after-service refreshments served throughout the years.

It’s going to look really great once it’s done, too. We got a grant that was enough to get in a really high-profile industrial kitchen design company operating in Melbourne, and they helped us with the planning and everything. I’m hoping for something of a café focus…enough space to cok big meals for when we have church lunches, but also a dedicated space to get our resident baristas working after the service. I know filter coffee is a tried and tested staple, but I’ll gladly sweep it all away for a kitchen that has enough space for real coffee machines. Or maybe one of those really big machines they have in cafes.  It was a pretty big grant, so we’ve had space to exercise some creativity. Our old, tired dishwasher can go into retirement and make way for a gigantic industrial one. Clean dishes for days.

And while we’re at it, the tacky tiles are definitely getting tossed in the scrap heap. Some lovely old dear many years ago must have thought that plastering the wall with pictures of lambs and palm leaves was somehow appropriate (and if those are going to be anywhere, it’ll be a church kitchen I suppose), but we’re going for something a little bit…cleaner. White, maybe. Easy to keep clean. Modern kitchen designers at their finest.

But the coffee…it’ll blow people’s minds. Queues out the door. Sermons cut short to get the caffeinated goodness.

We really need a solid roster.