Aurora Bore-ealis

Public service announcement: cold is not a competition. What I mean is, having lived somewhere closer to one of Earth’s poles than Melbourne does not make you superior. Many people find winter here to be a challenge, and whether or not you’ve ‘experienced worse’ doesn’t have a shred of bearing on that.  

Here’s the thing: people tend to adapt to whatever climate they’re in. I have no doubt that, had I spent a year in Greenland chasing the Northern Lights, I’d find Melbourne comparatively warmer as well. But I haven’t, and thus my temperature perception has not adapted in that way. Does that make me a lesser person? No, it doesn’t, and I won’t be having any qualms about using my home’s heating system. Specialists near Melbourne are plentiful, and thus I’ll be well equipped to do so, thanks very much. 

Yeah, yeah – the technicians where you lived in Norway were way more experienced in duct cleaning, and thermostats run way more efficiently there. I get it. Let’s see how you go in summer, though, when you’ve got the air conditioner ramped up to eleven and are still finding cause to moan about the heat. I think you’ll find that, when it comes to air conditioning repairs, Melbourne  takes the crown. I bet those experts in Norway don’t know the first thing about what to do with a broken cooling system on a 40 degree day.

Well, maybe they do. Maybe they’re just good at everything there; I’ve heard their schooling system is really effective. But my point still stands: it’s not a competition. The main takeaway is that you don’t have to point out that you’re more metal than the rest of us every time someone comments on it being cold. Honestly, it doesn’t make you special or different. It just makes you one of those annoying ‘your body temperature is wrong’ people who goes on about 14 degrees being the ideal working temperature at the office.