The Glass Smashing Bandit sat beside me, his arms bound with rope. Thankfully he was starting to wake up. Ahead of us, the strange fanatics gathered around in a circle. There were six of them all up. They made space in the centre, and a broad figure in a dark cloak walked forward.
“What do you want with us?” Bandit said, struggling to get free. “I know who you are. You’re the Church of the Tinted Flock. You want to make commercial tinting obsolete!” Bandit nodded toward the large man. “You must be their leader. James Illinois.”
The man shook his head and pulled his hood down. I couldn’t believe my liquified eyes.
“Zach Jordan?” whispered Bandit.
“That’s right,” said Zach. “I’m the famous movie star, Zach Jordan. You might know me from such films as You Have Done That Yourself and From My Point of View.”
Zach reached into one of the boxes and pulled out a shard of broken glass. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The glass changed colour before us, becoming darker. Tinted.
“You’re the Great Glass Tinter?” asked Bandit. “That’s impossible. How could you be leading a cult and filming movies at the same time?”
“There’s a lot you don’t understand about this world, GSB,” Zach Jordan said. “For starters, we don’t want to ruin office tinting businesses for Melbourne. We want to improve them. When I teach them the power of magical tinting, they’ll improve efficiency by a million per cent. As for my movie career, my clone is taking care of that.”
“You have a clone?” Bandit shook his head. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. What do you want with us?”
Zach turned the piece of darkened glass in his hand, eyeing it closely. “I daresay you’ll fetch a hefty price if held for ransom. The man who destroyed glass all across Victoria? In fact, I already have a buyer interested. He’s offering nine-thousand dollars.”
It seemed this really would be the end for us.