Anyone Know About Welding

Funny how certain life circumstances can force you to become an expert in things that you never even thought about previously. The super obvious example there in having children, obviously…no one gets to have any practice at that one. You just do it and learn along the way like everyone else. But now I know everything there is to know about marine welding, all because one of my housemates is giving a presentation on it at uni and I’ve been helping him with his public speaking.

He sucks at it, basically. Even just in front of me he’s stammering and dropping his cue cards everywhere, to the point where I have to hold the cue cards and give him a whole lot of prompting, and of course that means I’ve learned all about the subject as well. Marine welding includes everything from grafting on boat rod holders to entire aluminium hulls and ships. Underwater welding is completed via the creation of a small bubble of air that allows the flame to be ignited underwater. Stainless steel is a common material…and I could go on. In fact, I could be the one giving this presentation, and I’d do it better than Klein could. But then, I just have that gift of the gab. Never had a problem just blabbing about anything, even if I don’t know the subject matter.

Could probably have just glanced over the cue cards once and given a fairly convincing talk on marine stainless steel welding, if the audience were not experts. Not going to tell Klein that, though. He already starts sweating while presenting to me. Maybe I’ll wait until after his presentation and the start asking him extremely specific questions about the stainless steel welding industry, the proper methods for installing bait boards and his thoughts on new welding techniques.

Or better yet, I’ll just wear a wig and do the presentation for him, because if this is what he’s like with me, a live audience is going to stop his heart. And he will die.