So…um…interesting developments tonight here at the Futurist Club. Now, you must understand, we all come here with a very open mind. It’s in our official guide, and it’s an unspoken rule that you do not doubt another member’s sincere description of the future. No one truly knows what tomorrow holds, so it is tomfoolery to say that someone is wrong when they have a reason for believing what they believe.

I suppose today you could say that principle was taken to the limit, as we were visited by a lady calling herself Jane Beetle, who…claimed to be from the future. Specifically, she does work (or WILL do work) for a pest control company working near Berwick in the year 2052, and she had many secrets to reveal to us that seemed, well, rather intriguing. The pest control thing was relevant, so she said. Jane explained that pest control had become quite popular since insects had grown to twice their usual size due to irregular radiation output by the sun after World War V. This wasn’t a massive cause for alarm, since this still left insects as very small creatures, but now even more people found them creepy and wanted them gone than ever before, so now pest controllers were handsomely paid and had regular work. Jane specialised in the removal of spiders (now regularly the size of dinner plates with some equalling small dogs) and rats, which are still the same size but are a rather niche service. In fact, she often travels to Mornington, pest control experts in that area are particularly skilled and full of usefull knowledge. I guess there’s a super-highway that can transport people as data instantaneously across vast distances in future.

So that was our first meeting. Jane didn’t get to tell us WHY she travelled back, and had to go to bed due to her time travel inertia, kind of like jet lag. So…to be continued, I suppose? Personally, I’m still waiting to hear what termite removal techniques you use when the termites are too big to fit in the walls.