It’s time…time to right a wrong that has been wrong for a really long time. It is the longest of wrongs. And that wrong is the fact that dogs can’t drive.

Now, it’s a complex issue. I understand that it has many facets, because the issue is multi-faceted, but with recent advancements in technology, I think we’re running out of excuses.

We’ve made motorised wheelchairs. Crossing lights make warbling sounds to let blind people know that it’s time to cross the road. They make BIONIC LIMBS, so that people without limbs can have limbs. And dogs still aren’t allowed to drive, in an age of GPS wonder?

I’m making a petition…a pledge, if you will, and everyone should sign it. Just to drum up interest, I went around to every single garage in Croydon that does auto repairs and car inspections, because obviously they’re embroiled in this industry and they have a right to make a contribution. I found every single one, and I took just a few minutes of their time fixing cars to preach my message of canines being given the chance to get behind the wheel. And NONE of them said they hated the idea. Most were speechless and thanked me for my time, a reasonable reaction to something so radical, I think. Bear in mind that these are car professionals. They’re the ones who’ll be doing car inspections on cars optimised for canine paws, and all such things. Soon, when people come to Ringwood for RACV inspections, they’ll have to take dogs into account; it’ll be an official part of car registration. Used by canine, or human?

In the end, we have to acknowledge that dogs have destinations as well. They deserve better locomotion that walking, or conceding to the whims of human drivers. Join me, won’t you, in this revolution…