Keep Hair Honest

Terrible stuff, this Hair-Olympics case. An entire team disqualified, Australia going unrepresented, and all because of a media scandal. The team themselves didn’t even do anything except be exceptional at hairdressing; it was the manager who came out right before they were due to fly to the competition, announcing that she couldn’t take the pressure …

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Oxygen Complications

They’ve never tackled anything medical on The Great Australian Trade-Off. Suppose that makes sense, because there were SO many medical professionals all around the place this week, even though their products weren’t actually being used on anyone for real. Well, mostly. They usually try to keep the professionals off the camera, but this week they …

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Robots On Boats?

Once the robots decide they want a sovereign nation of their own, I’m really not sure what’s going to happen: either humans are going to be forced off the landmasses and will have to live on boats, or the robots will say they want the oceans to themselves and THEY will be the ones to …

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Get Over It

Everyone in this house is just a baby. It’s not THAT bad that the shower doesn’t work. I’ve been using it for ages, and I get a great wash out of there being no heat or water pressure. I mean, people are SO precious about stuff nowadays. “Oh no, I need hot water and more …

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That’s a Good One

I know my friends don’t find me very funny, and I’ve accepted that. The other day we were driving around and saw that thing where shoes are hanging on the telephone wire and I said “Hey, check out those shoes, I hope those cables aren’t…LACED with anything.” Nobody laughed. I mean…I laughed, but I have …

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Selena The Hero

OH. MY! Well, I think we’ve somehow ended up at square one, which I’m very happy about. The general consensus seems to be that Week of Our Lives is back on form, before it was before all the weird stuff, and that one about the driving was just a weird concept episode that they’re not going …

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Great Growing Plants

Pretty sure the only reason Ma and Pa let me have this one tiny stretch of land was because they were wanting me to develop an interest in farming. Yeah, because a legion of brothers to look after the place when they’re gone just isn’t enough, apparently. I have to be press-ganged into service just …

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GIANT BUGS SOON

So…um…interesting developments tonight here at the Futurist Club. Now, you must understand, we all come here with a very open mind. It’s in our official guide, and it’s an unspoken rule that you do not doubt another member’s sincere description of the future. No one truly knows what tomorrow holds, so it is tomfoolery to …

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Anyone Know About Welding

Funny how certain life circumstances can force you to become an expert in things that you never even thought about previously. The super obvious example there in having children, obviously…no one gets to have any practice at that one. You just do it and learn along the way like everyone else. But now I know …

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Best Tiptoe Around Tulips

I’m genuinely surprised at this point that flowers and plants don’t rule the world. I know some people treat it as a war, with man against nature. That’s why there’s so much deforestation, and the rainforests are disappearing. In his attempt to destroy the beasts, the man becomes, himself, a beast. Oh, that’s good. I …

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